Let’s talk about self-forgiveness, and self-compassion! These are two different, though related, practices. Self-forgiveness is a crucial tool when dealing with slip ups and mistakes. Self-compassion is about understanding and accepting our own emotional fallibility with grace in a multitude of situations, not just “mistakes.” Many of us could use more tools in the mental health tool box. I hope there’s something here that supports you.
- This American Psychology Association article outlines the general benefits and basic tools for the practice (9 minute read). Don't cry over spilled milk—The research on why it's important to give yourself a break
- Self compassion podcast: The science behind self-compassion (75 minutes)
- This Brené Brown video is short and sweet and useful if your first impulse when something goes wrong is to blame yourself or another. This is a playful, useful examination of blame in under 5 minutes.
- Kristen Neff discusses “relating to ourselves kindly” in this TedTalk on self-compassion and self esteem. Research shows self criticism undermines motivation; self criticism and holding oneself accountable are two different things. Rather than self punishment, accountability and improvement are more effective tools in promoting positive behavioral change. This talk shows the benefit of being a friend to yourself—offering yourself the same support, compassion, and constructive feedback would likely offer a friend. (19 minutes)